Once upon a time I had a coach that received a technical foul and a warning for unsportsmanlike behavior from me every game. On several occasions he was ejected. Some games his team would win and sometimes they would loose. Some worst than others.
Then one day after seven possibly eight years, it stopped. I refereed and he coached. He asked questions and I answered them. We agreed to disagree. Im not sure what changed. Was I better referee than I was years ago? Was my approach better? Did I hear more and speak less? Was I getting plays right and he could see that? Did I minimize my mistakes? Maybe he saw me move up the ranks and thought, “he’s not that bad of a referee”. Maybe the line was drawn in the sand, we respected what we did and did our jobs. Maybe something changed in him or maybe he just thought I sucked, tolerated what I called and would take his feelings to the grave. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I did know, what I was doing was flawed response. I never got a chance to ask him why it stopped. Im not sure I was prepared for the answer, but Im glad it did. It was toxic. Our former selves wasn’t good for the game.
